My Birthday Month
This month, I celebrated my birthday, but more than celebrating another year of life, I found myself reflecting on the woman I’ve become—and the woman I’m still becoming.
On my actual birthday, I spent a lot of time alone. Just me, my thoughts, my memories, and God.
I reflected on the last year of my life and everything it brought with it—the highs, the lows, the disappointments, the blessings, the lessons, and the moments that stretched me in ways I didn’t know I could be stretched.
And two things became very clear to me.
The first was this:
I lost a piece of myself. Somewhere along the way, I stopped showing up for me.
I lost my voice.
I lost my spark.
I lost my drive.
I allowed disappointment in people to make me question myself. I allowed circumstances to speak louder than God’s promises. I even allowed losing a good-paying job to make me question my identity and my worth.
But here’s what I know now:
I am not my disappointments.
I am not my circumstances.
I am not the things I lost.
I am still here.
And somewhere in the middle of all that losing, God was reminding me that I had not lost me completely. I just needed to find my way back.
The second thing I realized was that, while I was trying to find myself again, I was also stepping into something bigger than me.
Family.
For the past four months, we’ve been gathering every month—eating, laughing, talking, catching up, and simply creating memories together. And every time we gather, I think about my grandma.
When she was alive, she made it a priority to keep our family connected. She understood that family doesn’t stay close by accident. Somebody has to make the call. Somebody has to plan the gathering. Somebody has to keep the tradition alive.
When she passed away, my oldest son told me, “The mantle has been passed down to you.” At the time, I was not ready. Not mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. I was not equipped to carry it.
But today, I can finally say: I have arrived!
Not because I have everything figured out. Not because I no longer struggle.
But because I finally understand that the mantle was never about being perfect. It was about being present. It was about showing up. It was about keeping the connection alive and creating something our family can continue to build upon.
And maybe that's what this season has really been about.
Finding my way back to myself while simultaneously finding my way into purpose.
So today, I’m grateful.
Grateful for the lessons.
Grateful for the losses that taught me.
Grateful for the people who stayed.
Grateful for the family I’m rebuilding with.
Grateful for the woman I used to be.
And grateful for the woman I am becoming.
To God be the glory.
As I enter this next chapter, I want to leave you with a few questions:
What part of yourself have you stopped showing up for?
What disappointment have you allowed to define you?
What dream, purpose, tradition, or responsibility have you been afraid to pick back up?
And what would happen if you decided that it’s time to find your way back?
Maybe this is your reminder:
You are still here.
There is still purpose in you.
There is still life in you.
There is still something beautiful left to build.
So show up for yourself again.
Make the call.
Start the tradition.
Have the conversation.
Take the first step.
Pick up the mantle.
Whatever your “it” is—don’t wait until you feel completely ready.
Sometimes, you become ready by simply deciding to show up.
Here’s to another year of healing, becoming, reconnecting, and walking boldly into purpose.
I’m still here. I found my voice again. I found my spark again. And I’m ready for what’s next. ❤️🙏🏽
Sending you love, light and positive vibes,
"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"
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