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  • cassiekarch

I am mad, Why God Why?

Growing up I was taught that I am not supposed to question God.   Now that I am older and seasoned, I don’t subscribe to the notion.  If I have a question, I ask it.  It doesn’t mean that I will always get an answer, but I make my petition known to Him. 

Why does it feel like as soon as I open up to someone and start to give them a piece of my heart they are taken away? It makes me want to crawl under a rock and never surface again.  I remember when I met my friend Reggie, it took me a while to open up and let him in due to the hurt and pain I had been through. But when I finally let him in, we started to build a solid foundation on friendship.  We could talk about anything and everything under the sun. We would share our love of giving back to the youth.  It brought me joy when he would teach me something I didn’t know or help me understand a situation better because he was a little more experienced than I was. It took me a while to find peace when he was taken away by sickness, but I am happy to say I am finally there.

The bible says in Eccl 3:1-3, 4, 8 there are other things I’ve learned about life. There are times to do specific things and different seasons in which to do them. There is a certain day when you’re born and then comes a certain day when you die.  There is a time to plant and a time to harvest what was planted. (4) There are times in life when we need to cry and other times in life when we need to laugh. There are times of sorrow and times of joy. (8) There is a time to love and a time to hate. There are times to go to war and times to make peace. There will always be a time for something.

Over the last few months, I got to know an amazing man named Deno. He was a beautiful human being and any time he would grace someone’s Instagram’s LIVE feed he left it with a positive saying of his, (HELLO, insert smiling face here!!).  We would video chat at times and send each other encouraging messages.  He gave me a crash course on bike riding when he found out I have always wanted to ride a motorcycle.  He told me to sign up for my classes immediately so I could get them done before it started to get cold. We were supposed to connect to discuss the process of getting his life story on paper so he could publish his book.  We shared a love for the youth and giving back to our community.  I got the call that Deno had passed away in his sleep on October 15th.  My immediate reaction was sadness and then it turned to shock. I yelled out to God why? I couldn’t understand and I was in disbelief. God is just but he isn’t always fair. I thought to myself, why do the good ones always leave early? I cried, yelled, prayed and praised God that whole day and the next.  Eventually I came to a place of peace because I knew that according to Deno’s faith, he was in paradise. I am thankful that I was able to attend his celebration of life and even then, he was bringing joy through all of the sadness and pain.  Not only was Deno an entertainer, but he was an encourager, an evangelist, an equipper and now he is eternal! Fly high King!

We never know the day or hour we will breathe our last breath.  James 4:14 says “you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.  You have a beginning, an end and a middle.  Make sure you are doing something with your middle.  Every day that we are blessed with, is another chance to make a difference in someone’s life, including our own.  I pray that you live your life to the best of your abilities and continue to shine even while questioning God!

Sending you love, light and positive vibes,

Cassie K.

"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"

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He was such a wonderful person! Thank you for sharing - NT

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