I'm fine --- are you really?

"How are you?" she asked. He replied, "I'm okay." but deep down inside he knew that he wasn't. I am sure those are words you have uttered before when someone asked you if you were alright. I know I have said this phrase repeatedly over the few weeks. I've been on an emotional roller-coaster, and I didn't want people to know. It's so easy just to say, we are okay when we really aren't. What makes this even more challenging is that I had a friend reach out who needed to talk to me, and I didn't even have the capacity to allow her that space and that is just not normal for me. I am almost always able to hold space for others.

Think about it, we have all said this response at one time or another,

"I'm okay. "I'm fine." Or, "I'm just tired."

A lot of the time we have said it automatically not noticing that we are actually lying to ourselves as well as the person asking.

The truth is that we are not okay. Some of us are overwhelmed, or we are hurting, or we are just numb to life. Saying, "I am not okay" feels too heavy, too messy, or too risky so, what do we do? We smile and say the words that we think people want to hear.

Here is the thing: pretending you're okay doesn't make any of the pain go away. It just makes you feel more alone in it. I know it did for me.

There are so many reasons why we don't speak up. We tell ourselves that we don't want to be a burden, or that other people have it worse than we do. Both of those things can be true at the same time, but we are still important.

I learned early on in life that being "strong" means I have to hold it all together. Me being vulnerable is a sign of weakness. Don't let me start crying, because that is a huge NO NO. I was told that my feelings are a private matter and should be displayed when I am by myself but all that does is isolate us and create a world where we are struggling quietly beside each other, while pretending everything is fine.

I am here to remind us that we are not alone, and we don't have to carry these burdens by ourselves. If you believe in a higher being, He or She is with you, but also people can be there for you too. We just have to let people in. Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I was pulling away when I should have been pressing towards God.

When you or I let someone know that we may be struggling, or we've seen better days it gives them a chance to show up for us in whatever capacity they have. It invites them to connect with us on a deeper level. It breaks the illusion we've created, that we are fine all of the time.

Just know that we don't have to go through hard things alone, we don't have to be well put together to be worthy of love, support or rest.

If you are reading this and in this moment you are not okay, I want to remind you of this:

• You don't have to pretend.

• You don't have to be strong every second of the day.

• You are allowed to struggle, but know there is a brighter day ahead.

• You're allowed to rest when needed.

• YOU ARE ALLOWED TO ASK FOR HELP!

Saying "I'm not okay" doesn't make you weak. It makes you HONEST, BRAVE and REAL. And that is where the HEALING begins.

YOU and I WILL BE OKAY!

Sending you love, light and positive vibes,

Cassie K.

#SayItOnSunday

#CassieKarch

"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"