Mary J Blige said in one of her songs that she was searching for a real love. She wanted someone to set her heart free. Free from what? Free from pain, heart ache, longing to be loved, free from loneliness and so much more. It's crazy to think that she was searching for that love and the bible tells us in Proverbs 18:22 that he who finds a wife, finds a good thing, and receives favor from the Lord. So technically according to the good book, the man is supposed to be searching. But can that still work in this day and age? I don't know, you tell me. WE all deserve that Real LOVE!!
What is love? Let's talk about it. Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection. Do you have an intense feeling of deep affection for yourself? Because if you did, you wouldn't allow people to hurt you. Do you really love you? You can’t give away what you don’t have. Love starts with you. Have you sat with yourself lately and reflected on all of you? What does it mean to truly love yourself? I saw this post on #WeTheUrban and it said, it’s amazing how everything shifts when you start loving yourself. The people you outgrew start to fade away, and old, familiar spaces no longer hold that same appeal. You begin to attract new experiences and relationships that resonate more with who you want to be. How many of you can agree with this statement? I noticed when I started to set boundaries in relation to loving me and protecting my wellbeing, people started to fade away. I no longer allowed them a space to take advantage of me in any kind of way. Has this happened to you?
Recently I was talking to a friend of mine, and she told me an old lover she used to have dropped a bombshell on her. She was head over heels with this person and heard from them occasionally. She hadn't heard from them in over 9 months and all of the sudden BAM!!. This union didn't work between them because the lover was involved with another person but was on a break and that's how my friend and her lover got involved with one another. Well recently she got a call from this lover who told her that she would never be faithful to her person because she was still in love with my friend. Now what in the world was my friend supposed to do with that information? Was this old lover telling her this because she wanted to try and rekindle what they once had? Did she tell her this in hopes that my friend would decide to get back into relations with her? What was my friend supposed to do with that information? Maybe this old lover was testing the waters to see if my friend would jump at the chance to revisit old feelings? One may never know her motives because in the moment my friend didn't ask any of these pertinent questions. She was at a loss for words and kept quiet on the other end of the phone. It seems quite odd to me that as soon as my friend is in a place of peace here comes this person again trying to drop a bombshell on them. Maybe it's time for my friend to cut all ties. How can she be friends with this person who clearly wants more than a friendship but can't be in a relationship because they aren't truly free? What say you?
I say do what makes you happy. But if allowing this person to take up space in your mind, heart and emotions starts to cause you pain, heartache, and worry, it's time to let that person go. As my friend comedian Flame Monroe always says, self-preservation is the highest form of self-care. You and only you know what is hurting and hindering you in your everyday life. Make sure you take inventory and make the necessary adjustments so you can continue to live a life full of joy and happiness, because we all deserve to have a REAL LOVE!
Sending you love, light and positive vibes,
"Always remember to LIVE to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"