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Toxic Traits

  • cassiekarch
  • Apr 20
  • 3 min read

Have ever been around someone who constantly drains your energy, pushes boundaries, or spreads negativity like it's their job? I know I have. Is possible that it's you who has those same traits that I mentioned above and so you pause to think: Wait... am I the problem here?


We all have some toxic traits that we need to deal with and root out. Let's figure out some ways to deal with them in a way that is healthy, honest and empowering.


What is a toxic trait? According to Google, toxic traits are patterns of behavior that harm relationships, self-worth, or our general wellbeing. It's not always about being malicious because sometimes these are learned habits, trauma responses, or unresolved issues that show up in unhealthy ways. A toxic trait I am working through is sabotaging a relationship before it gets started due to my own insecurities. Certain areas of my life still need healing and so part of my issues is responding out of past trauma.


Below are some common toxic traits:

  • Manipulation

  • Passive-Aggressiveness

  • Constant Negativity

  • Gaslighting

  • Narcissism

  • Playing the Victim

  • Refusing Accountability


We all have things in our lives that we need to work through and below are some steps to take on the road to healthy healing.


Step 1 - Recognizing Your Toxic Traits

Those bad habits thrive in denial. Whether it's someone else or you, the first step is noting the pattern and asking yourself:

  1. How do I feel after spending time with this person?

  2. Is this behavior hurting others or myself?

  3. Do I feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells?

Remember No Judgement, Just Observe!


Step 2 - Set Boundaries Like a Pro

Boundaries aren't walls; they are filters. If it is someone else bringing you strife, you can still care and limit how much chaos they bring into your life.


If you are the one who is working on through your own toxic patterns, be sure to remind yourself that you need space, time and help to work it out.


Step 3 - Communicate Honestly

Call in, don't always call out. If you care about the relationship you have with yourself and others, just be honest. Let them know you are struggling with something they are doing. If it is yourself, recognize it and slowly make the adjustment.


Step 4 - Do the Inner Work

For yourself: therapy, journaling, talking to a trusted friend, self-reflection are all ways to help you grow. I know for me, I utilize all of these tools to continue working through my issues.


For others: remember you can't fix anyone. You can offer support but ultimately, they have to want to change.


Step 5 - Know When to Walk Away -

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do - for yourself and others - is let go. That doesn't mean you hate anyone. It just means you love yourself and are choosing peace.


Never forget that everyone is healing from something. Our toxic traits don't define us forever, but they do need to be acknowledged and addressed. Be kind, but firm. Be honest, but compassionate. Healing isn't a smooth, steady progression, and it involves a lot of ups and down, but it's possible.


Sending you love, light and positive vibes,

Cassie K.


"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"

 
 
 

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