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  • cassiekarch

A safe space for men.

Recently I was a spectator on an Instagram LIVE discussion format, and you could tell by the body language of two of the participants (male and female) they had a relationship outside of social media. The topics of discussion were intimacy and sex. The man gave his input on a specific encounter and then the woman decided to insert her input while also sharing some intimate details of said man and you could see his facial expression change immediately and that’s when the conversation shifted. I can only imagine what may have happened when that LIVE ended and they were forced to discuss. So, I ask? How are we creating a safe space for the men in our lives? I remember back in the 90s when I was trying to solidify the relationship with my kids' father, and he shared some intimate details about himself with me. When I found myself angry at him for something he did to me, I threw that information back in his face and even told one of my best friends about it. This in turn caused him to shut down and never let me inside his little bubble again. It’s not easy for a man to open up and when he does, he wants to know that it’s a safe space. A few weeks back I asked a question on my Instagram story because I wanted to gauge how we as women were creating a safe space for our men to be vulnerable. Now I agree that it works both ways but for the sake of this blog post I want to concentrate on us women. Here are some of the answers: ** By fostering and nurturing open and honest relationships that discuss how they feel to empower them to express their feelings knowing they will be listened to. ** ** Allow him to vent about the things that bothering him without judgement. ** ** Check in with each other. “How do you feel like we are doing?” Receive honest answers and why. ** There were so many beautiful answers, but I didn’t want to prolong this post, so I grabbed a couple that stood out to me. Just like it says in Psalm 9:9 that God is a safe place for the oppressed, we need to be a safe space for each other. In what ways can you improve the way you handle relationships with the men in your life? How can you be someone who helps them instead of hindering them? Only you know the ways in which you entertain conversations and receive information. It’s up to you to make a change for the better!

Sending you love, light and positive vibes,

Cassie K.

"Always remember to LIVE to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"

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Oct 24, 2023

In my experience, even when providing a safe space the man will still not speak on what's really going on within himself. The conversation will be made (by him) about other things instead of what the root cause is that's making him feel that way. You can be still (quiet), focused on him, his needs, nurturing and yet - nothing. It isn't always us! They will not want to speak to a professional nor us when it comes to these things. However, some will divulge these feelings and thoughts to another female without her even offering all of the above.


Oct 16, 2023

Great thought piece -K

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