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cassiekarch

Are You Stuck?

Have you ever been having a conversation with someone, and you noticed that they keep telling you about the same things over and over again? It's like they are stuck in a time zone. They are still living in the past, while you are living in the present forging ahead towards the future.  A few months back I was having a discussion with someone, or rather I was listening to them, and I noticed that I heard all of what they were saying before.  They talk about these same things every time we have a discussion. So, in that moment, I had to think about how I was having conversations with people.  I do repeat myself at times, but in my defense, that is only because I have 4 adult children, and I can't remember who I told the information to.

 

In my opinion, when you are constantly talking about a certain situation in your life and it keeps you bound, you are stuck. Why do some people tend to repeat the same story over and over again?  At first, you may think it is just a habit or something they enjoy talking about. But over time, you start to wonder - is there a deeper reason behind this repetition.  It can be painful when someone close to us continuously shares the same hurtful stories.  Over time, it becomes difficult to listen without feeling affected by it ourselves.  Sometimes taking on other people's burdens and offenses can affect our well-being. It can often be difficult to protect our emotional well-being and still offer them support.

 

There are many reasons why a person will continue repeating hurtful stories but here are a few that I found:

1.      Unresolved Pain.

-By repeating these same stories, they might be trying to make sense of their pain or find closure in a situation that still troubles them.

2.      Seeking Validation.

-Often, people share hurtful experiences because they are looking for validation of their emotions.

3.      Emotional Triggers. 

-The person might be stuck in a cycle of emotional triggers, where small things in their daily life remind them of the hurt they've experienced. 

4.      Trauma Repetition

-In cases of significant trauma, reliving the event by telling the story can become a coping mechanism. 


You have to be careful when being a support system for someone who is stuck. Listening to the same painful stories repeatedly can be exhausting.  I have found that after being around someone that is stuck, I need a couple days to decompress. At times I feel frustrated because I want to fix the situation (or want them to when it’s so obvious), and I give people information that helps me in life in hopes that they will utilize it for themselves.  When I am constantly exposed to this repetition, it can affect my own mental health. 

 

What I have learned to do is set boundaries for myself and others.  Most times it is keeping to myself.  I control when I want to speak or be in the same room or space with people who exhibit this behavior.  While listening, I will acknowledge their pain, I do my best to offer support and encourage them to seek professional help. 


Sending you love, light and positive vibes,

Cassie K.


"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"

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Ryk Goodwin
Ryk Goodwin
Oct 22

Very true. #1 has been my fuel for the past year and it shows in my songs.


Thank you for this - as always!

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