Every life has a backstory

So, a few weeks ago, I was talking to someone I know and she said to me, “I really envy you.”

For a moment, I paused and asked, “Why?”

She said, “Because you’re single, your kids are grown, and you can get up and go whenever you want without having to check in with anyone.”

I had to laugh a little because what she called "freedom", I didn't choose the way she thinks I did. What she sees as peace came from learning how to survive without the partnership I have always wanted and desired. What she sees as independence was built out of necessity.

My children have never seen me in a healthy, loving relationship. Not because I didn't want one, but because life didn't hand it to me that way. I have been through hell in the past and made the decision to focus solely on raising my kids.

So yes, now I am at a place where I can get up and go if I so choose. Yes, I do not answer to anyone at the moment. But lets not confuse that with having everything I have ever desired.

Because sometimes, freedom without love can feel like emptiness. And strength, when its forced, doesn't always feel like power.

In that moment, I was not offended, but remined that people will envy your life based on what is visible, while having no idea what it cost to become this version of yourself. And for those of you who have read my book (Identity Cry-Sis), you understand that cost just a little more.

People will admire your peace without understanding your bouts of loneliness. They will admire your strength without knowing your breaking points. They don't know the weight you have carried to be independent.

So, no I don't take those comments personal. But I do take it as a reminder. Be careful of who and what you envy.

What looks easy from the outside might have been built through years of sacrifice, disappointment, healing and starting over again and again.

And YES, I still believe in love. REAL LOVE. The kind that feels safe, mutual and whole. The kind that never leaves you guessing and always shows up even when its uncomfortable. Love that is built on trust, honesty, mutual respect, emotional intimacy and commitment. I could go on and on, but you get the picture.

But until then, I am not confusing survival with preference and neither should you!

So before you decide to envy the next persons life, ask yourself: do you really want the full story or just the highlighted reel?

Sending you love, light and positive vibes,

Cassie K.

#SayItOnSunday

#CassieKarch

"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"