Focus on the good qualities!
Updated: Jun 2
Why is it so hard for us as humans to see the good in people? No matter how many times a person has been good to us, we tend to remember the times that person was bad to us. Why is that? Do you know what I find interesting? Some of those times it wasn’t even that the person was bad to us, we just saw them do a terrible thing to someone else and then we immediately take offense for that person. Not even knowing the full story or the magnitude of their relationship, we chose to be frustrated.
According to the national institute of health, “negative stimuli are hypothesized to carry greater informational value than positive stimuli, and to thus require greater attention and cognitive processing.” Basically, our brains have been hardwired through generations to focus on the negative. It’s takes a conscious effort to make sure we see the positive. If you are anything like me, you have to speak to yourself aloud and say, “you forgave that already; why are you thinking about it again.”
I believe that sometimes when we find ourselves offended about a person, those are characteristics we may need to work on within. Because we never sat with ourselves to pick apart attributes we don’t like, it’s possible we have an issue with someone else. Not to say this is always the case but sometimes.
I remember a time in ministry when my pastor was teaching on LOVE, and he gave us an assignment. The scriptures of focus was 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. In these particular Bible verses it speaks about love. Excerpt from the NLT version, 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, boastful, or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Now do this for me. Read that scripture again, but instead of saying LOVE or it, add your name. Every time you see the word LOVE or it, say your name as a substitute. Once you’re done, sit with it for a minute. How do you feel? I can tell you for me that it changes the way I think about me and being positive and showing love. It has helped every time I read it and insert my name. I keep it typed up at work, attached to my computer and I read it every time I’m there. It definitely helps me shift my focus.
Do me a favor. The next time you find yourself looking to the negative, I want to you to pause for a moment and remember at least 5 positive things about that person. I can almost guarantee you will see way more good than bad. All of us have things we need to improve on and it’s up to us to do the work if we so choose to. I challenge you today to shift your focus. In my opinion, life will be more meaningful when you do.
Sending you love, light and positive vibes,
"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"