How can you or I say we want to be out here in this dating world if we are not willing to take a risk? I was talking to a friend the other day and she was telling me that those of us in the dating world need to make a choice. We can’t be lukewarm while we are dating. That’s how people get hurt because there are real feelings involved. Yes, I have my guard up, but how can anyone get close to me if I am not willing to let them in. Getting hurt is a part of life and I can’t control the outcome of any relationship. All I can do is my part and do it to the best of my ability.
If we are on a date with someone and they do something that crosses a boundary, we are not obligated to stay. We can get up and leave right then and there. What’s important is that we are comfortable, and we know what we deserve from any relationship. If you're dating for marriage but the person you're with just wants to be friends, you need to be upfront and see if you want to continue on with the relationship. We must operate with clarity when we are dating.
You have to know what you will and will not allow. You have to know yourself. Your likes and dislikes, as well as your hard No’s. If you’re a person who likes constant conversation and communication, you need to state that up front and let your potential partner know. If you're someone who loves to read and educate yourself, but you realize your potential person is the exact opposite, you have to ask yourself if you're willing to compromise or move on to the next person. You can’t change anyone. People are exactly who they are, and you have to be okay with that in your relationships. Can people grow? Absolutely! But that has to be their choice and on their own terms.
No one is perfect in this world and when we get into relationships with someone, there will be a time where you will get hurt or disappointed and that’s a part of life. If we never let our guard down, how can anyone get close enough to know the person that we are.
Here are some steps you can take to let your guard down when establishing any type of relationship.
1. Commit to being honest and have integrity.
2. Stop thinking and be happy. I overthink a lot and I need to learn to just be in the moment.
3. Listen to understand one another. Pay attention to what each other is really saying.
4. Accept that there will always be risks.
5. Tell each other stories of our lives.
6. Remember that we all have fears, that is normal.
7. Accept any and all outcomes good, bad, or indifferent.
As you and I navigate this world remember to take time for yourself. Make sure you know you first before you try to get to know others. Unless you know what you really want, you are liable to keep repeating the same patterns and making the same mistakes. With any relationship there will be risks, you just have to be willing to take them.
Sending you love, light and positive vibes,
Cassie K.
"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"