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  • cassiekarch

It was an experience

Oftentimes, when something doesn’t go the way we think it should, we tend to verbalize that it was a waste of time, and that is just wrong.  I was on an Instagram LIVE a few weeks back and the host was responding to a comment made about a person who said something about a long-term friendship that had ended and was a waste of their time. The hosts' immediate response was to tell that person that they need to think of that time as an experience and not a waste. You might ask, why was it an experience? Because you learned something from that relationship. The definition of experience is the fact or state of having been affected by or gained knowledge through direct observation or participation. 


Think about the past relationships you've had in your life. Whatever type of relationship it was, partnership, relationship, friendship, lover-ship etc.. each one of those times you spent in each of those spaces you gained valuable knowledge and insight. You learned things not only about yourself but about others.  Nothing is ever a waste of our time if we change the way we look and feel about it.  Each time a situation has ended, hopefully you have grown and learned more about yourself. Ways to enhance your life and how to be a better human.


About 10 years ago I found myself in a situationship. It had been a while since I had been seen by a man and I was going through a rough time, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We used to work together, and we began spending time together at work, taking lunches and breaks with one another.  We ended up having a fling and it was short lived. Now while I was in that situation, I wasn't thinking clearly or even caring about anything else but what was happening with us.  And when it was over, I was hurt and felt betrayed not only by him but from myself and my immediate thought was it was a waste of time. But after I forgave myself and him, I realized that experience taught me some things about myself. I learned a few things like I love to be loved and in love.  Physical touch and quality time are top tier of my love languages.  I was reminded that when I invest time into someone via talking and pouring into each other, (in particular a man) I will develop feelings for them.  So, at the end of the day, it wasn't a waste of time but a chance to learn more about myself in who I am as a human.  So, if you are a male friend of mine and we used to talk frequently and we don't anymore, well I have pulled back, so I won't fall into an emotional spiral. Don't take it personally, I am working through that issue. If you would like to know more about that situation and others, I implore you to pick up a copy of my book Identity Cry-Sis, available everywhere books are sold. 


With all that said, I ask you to think about all of the experiences you have had in your life.  Most, if not all, should have taught you something about yourself if you were paying attention. The bible says in Ecclesiastes 1:16 in the (ASV) I communed with mine own heart, saying, Lo, I have gotten me great wisdom above all that were before me in Jerusalem; yea, my heart hath had great experience of wisdom and knowledge. If you read that whole chapter of Ecclesiastes, Quester, who was King David's son, was saying he has seen it all and learned so much.  With that, think about everything you have learned with the experiences you have encountered.  Only you can grow and become better because of it.


Sending you love, light and positive vibes,

Cassie K.


"Always! remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"

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