making time for what's important.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “People make time for what—and who—is important to them”? It sounds simple, almost casual, but it carries a heavy truth. Because when you really think about it, time never lies. We make time for sleep. We make time for work. We make time for distractions, entertainment, and comfort. We always find time for what matters to us.

I watched a story on social media unfold a few weeks back, one that felt all too familiar to me. A woman who finally let her guard down after years of knowing someone from a distance. A man who had admired her quietly for years finally stepped forward. He told her she was the woman of his dreams. He said he always wanted her but assumed she was taken. And when she asked him why a woman should trust him with her heart, he said he would never be the enemy. He promised to protect, to preserve, to show up. But did he?

In the beginning, he did. The communication was constant. The energy was undeniable. He made plans, he talked about a future. She believed she was safe.

Then the silence crept in.

Five months into the courtship, the calls slowed. The texts became scarce. Work became the excuse. She should have stepped back, but hope can be blinding when you believe someone’s words more than their actions. When he did resurface, it felt magical, and it was just enough to pull her back in. Just enough to keep her holding on. She'd call and text and he wouldn't answer. What hurt the most for her was knowing he wore a smartwatch. He saw the alerts, he knew she was reaching out.

She didn’t ask for much. Just a few minutes of his time. Hear his voice, see his face. A reminder to her, that she still mattered. But he couldn’t—or wouldn’t—hear her when she expressed her concerns. Often replying to her that he didn't understand where all this was coming from. Was he gaslighting or clueless? How do you go from daily conversations, constant check-ins, and watching someone’s every move on social media, to nothing at all? The silence was deafening.

Still, she stayed. She stayed through apologies. She stayed through promises that never materialized. She stayed because she believed what they shared was real. Because she believed in him. But emotional inconsistency is cruel, especially to someone who has already survived deep trauma. It confuses the heart and can make you question your worth. Her body was responding to familiar patterns, patterns she learned at a young age. Her nervous system realized the instability before her heart was ready to let go.

There’s a quote often attributed to Bob Marley: “The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her.” And nothing feels truer in moments like this.

If she truly meant to him, what he said she meant, then time would have been made. Love doesn’t disappear behind a busy schedule. And relationships cannot survive without communication. Even a simple explanation from him saying, I need a few days, would have spared her from lying awake at night, wondering if she was too much, too needy, too hopeful. She wasn’t any of that. She just wanted consistency. She wanted reassurance. She wanted to feel chosen.

She found herself rereading old messages, grieving the man who once made her feel seen. Wondering where he went. Mourning something that never fully existed, yet felt painfully real. Now she’s trying to find her way back to herself, the woman she was before promises were made and broken. Before access was given and taken away without explanation. She doesn’t want to harden her heart, but she’s afraid of trusting again.

At the end of the day, time tells the truth. If she mattered, she would have been prioritized. All he had to do was pencil her in on his "hectic" calendar. Even a small space carved out just for her would have said everything his silence did not. They say you never know what you have until it’s gone, and now she's gone.

My hope is that the next woman he pursues never has to beg for clarity or consistency. And to every woman reading this: never shrink yourself for someone who won’t show up. As Maya Angelou warned us, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” 

This was a painful lesson, but lessons learned this way shape stronger, wiser hearts.

Choose better next time!

Sending you love, light and positive vibes,

Cassie K.

#SayItOnSunday

#CassieKarch

"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"