Every one of us deals with grief in our own way. I’ve been losing loved ones every year since 2016. It seems every time I’m at a place of contentment someone else leaves this physical world. In 2016 I lost my grandma, in 2017 I lost my mom, in 2018 we lost our fur baby Buster he was our long time family dog, in 2019 I lost my nephew Chayzin, in 2020 I lost my friend Lourdes, in 2021 I lost my friend Reggie, in 2022 I lost my pastor and in 2023 I lost my 20 month old fur baby Gina.
Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something. For the writing of this blog, I’ll be discussing loss of life. I know there are many of you who know exactly what I’ve been going through. Some of you have lost multiple loved ones in a year or even within the same month. The pain never goes away, and we try to keep living as our loved ones would want us too. The pain of loss can sometimes be overwhelming. You can go from shock to extreme anger. Some days are better than others. A lot of times we have to go through the stages of grief. It has to run its course.
For me the first stage was disbelief. I just couldn’t believe she was gone. I kept asking God, why? She was so young. She didn’t do anything to anyone but bring people joy and comfort. I then started to feel anger. I was mad at the first ER on how I believed they treated her, and I was mad at the second ER for not having the blood she needed for a transfusion. I was mad at myself for not recognizing the signs earlier if there were any. I started bargaining with God. I reminded Him that I don't ask Him for anything, just please heal my baby Gina! I felt like He ignored my request. Depression started creeping up on me. I found myself unable to function. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, be around anyone and I canceled any trips or events I planned on attending. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. Five weeks after her death, I have finally come to the stage of acceptance. Death is a part of life, and we must keep living in spite of our loss. Do I still cry? Yes. I am triggered at times but stay thankful for the memories I have, both in my head and in other places like online and all around my house.
The Bible says in Matthew 5:4, blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. I am truly grateful to the many people who loved Gina as much as I did, and they reached out to me and encouraged me. She made sure that she was still with me through all of the love they showed me.
As you read this message, I pray you are encouraged to keep living. It’s okay to grieve, but don’t let that grief get you stuck. Keep putting one foot in the front of the other and walk toward your healing. Do your best to focus on all of the good memories you shared with those loved ones. Those are moments only you have, and I hope those experiences give you the fuel you need to press ahead.
God, I thank you for the opportunities to know and experience such love from those who have gone on before me!
Sending you love, light and positive vibes!
Cassie K.
"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"