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  • cassiekarch

Sit down somewhere!

This is a statement that I hear quite often. If it’s not my adult children telling me to relax, it’s one of my friends telling me to sit down when I am visiting them out of town. The definition of a busy body according to the urban dictionary is a person who is constantly doing stuff and seems to never sleep. That would be me! As the sole provider for my children, I had to take on both roles of the mother and the father as they were growing up. Whether that was mowing the grass, cooking dinner, folding laundry, or taking one of them to their sports game, I consistently stay on the go. I have always worked 2-3 jobs to make sure I provided for my family financially. I spread myself so thin, you would think I would be lighter in weight. Hahaha! Hope you laughed at that because I did.

I remember visiting one of my friends Lesia at the beginning of the year and she was constantly telling me to sit down somewhere. She asked me, “do you even know how to relax?”. To which I responded, “I am trying to. I just feel like I need to help any way I can.” One of the nights I was there, she prepared a beef stew and as she was cutting up the potatoes, I asked her how I could help her. She told me I could help by sitting down and relaxing. And I said, “I could help cut the onions.” She said, “girl, no, just relax, aren’t you on vacation?” But in my mind, I feel useless unless I am helping anyway that I can.

Recently I was having a conversation with my daughter, and she asked me when the last time was, I took a vacation. When I answered her, she said, “that’s not a vacation mom because you are always going. You go and go, constantly sightseeing and visiting museums. How can you go to a city that is known for a beach and not relax under the sun on the sand? You like to travel mom, not vacation.” I had to think about that for a moment.

If you are anything like me, you are constantly reminding yourself it is okay to relax. You won’t be able to accomplish everything on your list, but if you get the first 3 things completed out of 10, that is a win-win situation. I literally must tell myself out loud that I have done enough for the day. Single mom burnout is a real thing and hard to avoid when you don’t have a partner to share the heavy lifting with. Often, I feel guilty for wanting time for myself, even though my children are now adults. I still find myself wanting to make sure they are squared away first before myself.

Whether you are a single parent like me, or someone who has two parents in the house, make sure you are taking care of you. We only have 24 hours in a day, and we need time to sleep and replenish our minds, bodies, and spirit. Take a break when you need to and rest when you can. Skip the guilt because you deserve a break. Set boundaries for yourself and others. Make healthier lifestyle choices that include a relaxation routine. Remember you are only as good as your health, that includes physical, mental, and emotional health.

Sending you love, light and positive vibes,

Cassie K.

"Always remember to LIVE life to the fullest, to LAUGH at everything and to LOVE unconditionally!"

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There are those that talk negatively about single mothers ALL the time. Not sitting back to think that just because you know one that is delinquent with her children, that does not mean that ALL are the same. This is the narrative being placed into the world by certain individuals that do not know the struggle first hand. Not knowing the circumstances as to why a woman became a single mom and yet speaking on something they know nothing about. I believe that those that don't know should ask a single mom, "How do YOU do it?" "Are YOU okay?" "Do YOU need anything?" Etc... Instead of judging. There is always a back story. Some just don't care to learn…



Wise words friend - K

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