To argue or not?
Updated: Feb 25
What is the purpose of having a disagreement? In my opinion, it's about coming to an understanding. However, we must be able to receive what the other person says. Our guard must be let down and we must be open to seeing things from another perspective. It's impossible to be right about everything all the time! It is important to realize that two things can be true at the same time! A situation does not always have to be black and white. In fact, it can be gray, and it can be viewed from a different angle.
It’s in our nature to want to win when having a discussion in a heated fashion. Taking a break is essential, allowing us to pause, breathe, and bring our temperature down. If we vibrate on high, we'll never be able to absorb what the other is saying because we're too hot. It’s just like when you cook on a stove and turn the burner off, there is a red light indicating that the surface is still hot to the touch. You will get burned if you place your hand down. It’s the same way in a heated discussion or argument. If we don’t bring our temperatures down, one of us will get burned and hurt deeply by the words we spew out.
As a young child I learned the nursery rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me”, but that was a lie. There have been words that were said to me that cut me like a knife. And there are words I said to others that stabbed them like an ice pick. And both times those things were said in the heat of an argument or disagreement. I remember a heated discussion I had with a friend years ago, both of us were hotter than fish grease and to be honest with you, that relationship has never ever been the same because of the words that were said. Although we forgive, we never forget and sometimes things that were said can rise back up into our spirits and harm the relationship moving forward if we let them fester.
Proverbs 29:22 in the clear word says, “a man with a quick temper causes nothing but trouble, and an angry man commits many sins.” How many times have you been shopping, and you hear a customer yelling and screaming at an employee over a misunderstanding? I know you’ve seen the videos that end up going viral. Now these two people may not have a personal relationship, but it’s a temporary business relationship and it can turn south quick when two people are operating out of anger and frustration over a misunderstanding.
I want to encourage you as I encourage myself. A gentle answer calms anger and can bring the situation to a place of serenity. If I have nothing nice to say, I need to keep my mouth shut until I can articulate my feelings in a way that will bring about understanding between me and the person receiving it. When we argue at an elevated level, none of us are really listening to each other. Instead of responding, we are reacting. As a result of not thinking clearly, we say things without any thought!
As much as possible, let's keep the peace so that we can communicate effectively and efficiently, and leave the conversation or situation with a sense of understanding.
Sending you love, light and positive vibes,
**Always remember to LIVE to the life to the fullest, LAUGH at everything and LOVE unconditionally**